The majority of shame researchers agree that the difference between shame and guilt is best understood as the differences between “I am bad” (shame) and “I did something bad” (guilt). Shame is about who we are and guilt is about our behaviors.” Shame Resilience Theory (SRT) was developed by Dr Brené Brown. Brené wrote about the theory in her book I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t): Making the Journey from “What Will People Think?” to “I Am Enough” and has spoken about it several times in her talks, including –

I Thought It Was Just Me: Women Reclaiming Power and Co… I Thought It Was Just Me: Women Reclaiming Power and Co…

Now the part of the book that I was constantly feeling weird about was actually how much negativity it brought into my mind, of course awareness is good, but as I am listening to this, I'm constantly hearing first person stories ie. "I am not enough", "I don't deserve love" etc. I understand that this is to hear another persons perspective, but I have been listening to a lot of Positive Affirmations lately and also realising the Power of the 'I am' statements, listening to this book made me a little wary of what my subconscious was taking in.Top Quote: “Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.” ( Meaning) - I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t) Quotes, Brené Brown What do critics say? shame is a silent epidemic, according to American researcher Brene Brown, it’s rarely mentioned as one of the strongest drivers of most behaviours on both individual and […] The ability to recognize and understand their shame triggers. High levels of critical awareness about their shame web. The willingness to reach out to others. The ability to speak shame." pg 67 However, achieving this kind of comprehension is not easy. To do that, you need to possess the ability to put yourself in the shoes of the other person and see things from their perspective.

I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) - Brené Brown

This is a prime example of how perfection is a shame-producing lie. Just take Alex, the iconic 1980s character played by Jennifer Beals in the movie Flashdance. In the famous dance audition scene, Alex nails an incredible number that combines ballet and breakdance. But in reality, the scene is a combination of Jennifer Beals’ face, a professional ballet dancer, a top gymnast and even a male breakdancer. Reaching out and telling our story (i.e. by reaching out to our support network and sharing our story, we can increase our resilience and create change), and In fact, shame even appears to be directly related to blaming, as people are constantly pointing fingers to avoid confronting their feelings. Psychologists June Tangney and Ronda Dearing say that people can protect themselves from their shame by projecting it outward and blaming others through a self-righteous burst of anger. This is the third book I’ve read by Brené Brown and it might be my favorite. She has a down-to-earth way of writing that I just love. If you get bitten by a venomous snake, you can receive a dose of antivenom that will save you. This is a dramatic example of the many antidotes available to us, and thankfully, a powerful antidote also exists for the feeling of shame – it’s called empathy.of fear, shame often works in overdrive to hide this truth. Popular author and research professor Brené Brown insists that “Shame is the intensely painful feeling that we are unworthy of love and […] Dr. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston where she holds the Huffington Foundation – Brené Brown Endowed Chair at The Graduate College of Social Work. Brené is also a visiting professor in management at The University of Texas at Austin McCombs School of Business.

I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t): Telling the Truth I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t): Telling the Truth

Knowing that none of us is immune to shame brings us to the conclusion that the important thing is not stopping shame from occurring (since it cannot be done), but learning how to manage it. If you want to make a difference, the next time you see someone being cruel to another human being, take it personally. Take it personally because it is personal!”The importance of empathy: The author emphasizes the importance of empathy in reducing feelings of shame, and provides tips for developing empathy and becoming a more compassionate person. SHAME is the feeling you get when your expectations for yourself are unattainably high, and you feel like a failure because you know you will never reach them. In other words: it is not about fitting in with other people.. it is about accepting ourselves as the flawed but beautiful people we already are. Fundamentally, shame is what happens after the balloons have popped and everyone else has gone home. Instead of a synopsis or thinly veiled attempt at sounding studious, I thought I'd extract a few quotes that, while written about and for a female audience, hit home for me and that I think are representative of the importance of the work presented in this volume. Though the things that trigger shame are different for men and women, the feelings are the same. However, there is great relief in understanding the experience is universally experienced (hence, the title). Brené Brown’s shame resilience theory is one good place to start. According to Dr. Brown, the elements of shame resilience are recognizing feeling shame and understanding shame’s triggers, practicing critical awareness, […]

I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ME (BUT IT ISN’T): MAKING THE JOURNEY

Researcher Brené Brown gives readers another self help title on how to handle the difficult emotion called shame. On a more positive note, Brown writes everyone has experienced this at some point or another. She uses this universality of experience to issue a clarion call for change. To foster shame resilience, we should build networks of support and be kind to each other by showing our own vulnerability. We're all in this together.We put so much of our time and energy into making sure that we meet everyone’s expectations and into caring about what other people think of us that we are often left feeling angry, resentful, and fearful.” By recognising our shame screens, we can make alternative choices as shame screens do not work and can cut us off from what we want most in life – authentic connection with ourselves and others (which is why developing empathy is important). You have to forget about judgment and be fully present in the moment, and aware of the other person’s words and emotions. Key Lessons from “I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)” The other thing that we need to understand is how we react to shame, and according to the author, by practicing critical awareness, we can react better to shame. The idea of defining what shame means to you isn’t to have some pre-programmed term to spit out on a game show.