I’m not ashamed to admit it: I HAVE A HUGE GIRL CRUSH ON RUBY TUI so this review might be a bit bias. That’s what I heard,” I said. “All the best, bro, like, all the best . . . you’re gonna do amazing over there.” What I saw with Bunts was that he understood all this — that the essence of a team is its culture and its bond, and he threw himself into helping us develop those things. For me, it was what came naturally anyway. It was what I’d always wanted. A family full of good people making the right choices in life. I guess in one long night of tossing up between do we call help, are we loyal to the friend, how do we help dad, I'm scared… all those emotions and perspectives [combined] in one harrowing experience." When I see the contract in front of me, it’s not so much about everybody else. It’s like, well, Ruby, is your heart on this? Is your passion still in this?

She's all in with everything that she does and she doesn't hide behind anybody. She'll put in the work to do what's needed.” Tui is looking forward to getting out of managed isolation and celebrating her win with her partner Dani Fennessyand her family. I’ve been asking myself that question a lot lately and [the answer], fortunately, continues to be yes.” The 29-year-old was born in Wellington to a Samoan father, and a mother with Scottish and Irish ancestry. Her parents split up when she was a child, and she spent the next few years moving with her mother from one remote town to another. At age thirteen, Tui, her mother and young brother were forced to flee her mother’s partner, and seek safety at a women’s refuge in Westport, in the South Island.There's plenty of hard work ahead and Tui's not sure what direction her career will take after the RWC. "I like to give myself time to sit down after pinnacle events. I've definitely learned you can't make that decision until you're in the moment." I felt like I was Dad’s bro, his mate, and that’s how he always treated me. I didn’t understand that I was any different to him, that I was just a child. I didn’t see any difference between me and Lesh, even though she was five years older than me. Her manager Dan Sing says Tui is "100 per cent real, honest, and no-nonsense. There's only one Ruby Tui and what you see is what you get. She works harder than most humans and loves to elevate the people around her. She has pure gratitude for her journey and humbly represents so many New Zealanders who are out there just trying to do their best in life." A quip-filled interview with the BBC after New Zealand’s win over Russia in the sevens quarterfinals at the Tokyo Olympics went around the world last July and ever since then, she has lived up to her newfound reputation for being as entertaining to watch off the field as she is on it.

From that day forward, we were part of every decision. For example, one year they couldn’t decide between the last two or three contracts to offer, and it was inevitable that someone was going to lose their spot in the team. So they got the whole leadership group in and they were like: “This is the situation.” They told us their perspective on the team as a whole, the balance they were looking for, so we could understand the overview of why someone needed to be replaced. Until just before this book was published, most people didn't know the truth of Ruby's childhood. I'll leave it for you to discover in this book - other than at the end there is just the slightest tinge of bitterness when she says; Nothing I do is mediocre or just for likes. I really like myself; I don’t need other people’s likes, you know,” she says. Life is crazy, she says, and she’s not going to say yes to every potential sponsor or offer. “It’s like, well, what are you doing to make a difference? Tui’s endearing interviews and authenticity have been welcomed by those who say rugby is bereft of characters and charisma.I think it’s being in tune with yourself, looking after your mental health, and asking yourself honest questions every day and not being afraid to do that.” And so therefore, I do feel a responsibility that the next choice I make is in support of people who see that and understand that.”

The storytelling is raw. Her life uprooted – from happy, wholesome early days in Wellington to chaotic, scary and ugly times in Marlborough and on the West Coast. We had stopped playing for a long time. By the time I got pulled into that interview, I look up and all three tiers [of the stand] are chokka, I’d never seen it. And so, I was like, ‘Oh, my guys are keen! My guys are here for the party!’ The tauihu is the prow that cuts through the water with puhoro — speed and dexterity — guiding us, leading us through unknown waters. We paddle together, our strength nothing without the others. And in our wake we leave mana. And that means our footprint on this earth, the thing that is left once we’ve passed.She speaks openly in the book about her parents and upbringing. Why they weren’t right for each other – and Tui recognising that herself when she was only a young girl. As a leadership group, you get to know much more than the average player, and I always want to pass on as much as I can to the rest of the team — after all, we’re representing the whole team with our decisions and discussions. And some things we’re actually unable to lead and need help with from other players. Like selection, for example. How do players want to find out that they haven’t made the team? As leaders, we often make the team, so speaking on behalf of those who don’t make it can’t be done accurately so we will ask other players for help. Tui tells Reset she had already done a "lot of work, mentally" on her trauma before writing Straight Up and knew she had to share it all. "If I want people to have a moment of reflection on their own lives, I've got to be straight up about everything. I can't tip-toe around anything. This legit happened to me and kind of makes me who I am – those dark, dark moments are actually a part of me." Things happen in your life and unfortunately they can shape you in negative ways. I became very fearful, I was holding it within me. I actually, in my little kid brain, thought that if I was around drugs or the white powder that I was responsible for killing people because of what I'd seen.

We can put on a World Cup that makes the rest of the world go 'whoa, New Zealand truly is the home of rugby'. Allan Bunting, Bunts, is one of those people I can so easily create a safe space with. He values clear, open, honest communication, and immediately. If there were ever any whispers or conversations about someone or a situation, straight away he would set up a conversation about it, even if it screwed up the schedule. To me, if you wait for a more convenient time, the problem simmers away and becomes far bigger. After a childhood filled with neglect Ruby yearned for another path. Determined not to let her upbringing limit her, she survived abuse, drugs and tragedy to become one of the most successful women's rugby players in the world. As we wrap up lunch, one of the Accor managers comes to chat. It’s the school holidays and his two young boys are with him; Tui spends the next 15 minutes talking to them, showing them her World Cup medal. Bunts letting us take the huddles was extremely uncomfortable at the beginning. We all have specific areas of the game to lead, but there’s still a learning process to know what to say in the heat of the moment when you are extremely fatigued and emotional. But this is a whole other level of leadership awareness. You go from worrying only about yourself in a team huddle — getting a water, waiting for the coach to say something that might help — to constantly being aware of every aspect of the game because you need to have the answers now, not the coach.Leaving the relationship meant Tui’s mother could put down roots, and for the first time Tui stayed in one school and finished out her high school years, allowing her to throw herself into “every sport under the sun”. The book begins where everyone begins: with childhood and the profound ways that our early years shape who we are. Tui’s early life shifts between her large and loving Sāmoan family (on her dad’s side) and her more isolated palagi one (her mum’s). That she was loved is a fact often affirmed: Tui’s perspective throughout the book is frank and without blame, without bitterness or even regret. Very gently, with a tone of patience and an acceptance that becomes the undercurrent of the entire book, Tui describes a childhood made unstable by alcoholism, drug abuse and psychological and physical violence. As she writes the next chapter of her life, it’s perhaps best to cite another of her training bag mantras: “I take control of the pressure. I let go of my stress and I find my excitement.” Her last breath really stayed with me … and I'll probably never forget that was her last breath. And we were there, you know.