DEAR VANESSA: I'm planning to have my first anal intercourse with a friend I've known for a couple of years. We tried it once, but we were not prepared. His penis is big, and I'm afraid it will hurt a lot, but I really want to do it. What do you advise? — Scared of Size, 22 They come in all sorts of lengths and widths, ranging from small ( like this one) for anal training amateurs to some pretty intimating monster-sized plugs ( like this one) for seasoned pros. The prostate — or P-spot, as it’s often called — is a small muscular gland that produces the seminal fluid found in penile ejaculate. It's also… READ MORE If you’re using a toy, make sure that it has a flared base, meaning that the base is wider than the toy itself. Your anal sphincters are surprisingly strong and can actually pull sex toys up into the rectum. A flared base ensures that you’ll avoid a trip to the emergency room. If you’re nervous about girth issues with your partner, you can start with a very slim dildo and slowly work your way up to bigger and bigger dildos to get a sense of what size you can take. This will also help you stay more relaxed when you experiment with your partner. Tip #2: Avoid pain by trying anal play before anal sex.

Anal Ease Creams contains benzocaine, an ester local anesthetic that is safer for mucus membranes like lips and anus than lidocaine. However, similar products contain 5%Lidocaine working synergistically with essential oil formulated in a slippery gel that doubles as a lube. Anal Eze (sometimes misspelled as Anal Ease, Anal Ese, or Anal Eaze) is a product that has built a reputation over the years as the go-to anal numbing lubricant for couples who want to more easily facilitate anal sex. We however, recommend a few basic rules for using any anal lube products. Always remain relaxed, go slowly, and never go beyond what your partner is comfortable with. Anne Hodder, ACS, a multi-certified sex and relationships educator, says a successful anal experience is most often the result of communication, relaxation, preparation, lubrication, and (at least initially) gentle stimulation.“Anal is something you and your partner should discussand plan for while sober and clothed,” she says. “Discuss expectations and concerns.” If there’s too much poop in your rectum, shallow penetration will probably be all you can muster. Using a rectal douche to clean out poop in the lower rectum can help. Using a circular motion is helpful when it comes to stretching. Whether you add thrusting or plugging into the mix depends on what feels good for you.Anal Ease can cause several side effects, if you notice the following, report to your doctor or health care professional as soon as possible: Try a hot bath, a massage, or some foreplay to help you get your stretch on. Be generous with the lube Slow and steady wins the butt play race. Get ready for insertion by lightly pressing your toy against your hole with minimal pressure. The general rule here is to size up once you’re able to take a toy in without any discomfort or resistance.

Unless you’ve got carpal tunnel, you don’t need to worry about weight if you’re choosing dilators or dildos. Additionally, the Lubido Long Lasting Anal Ease lubricant doesn't have a taste or scent, which could be a pro or a con depending on individual preferences. Some users might appreciate a subtle aroma for sensory enhancement. If you’re using a silicone toy, however, you’ll need to use a water-based lube instead because silicone breaks down silicone.Relax. I know, I know — this is easier said than done. If you’re nervous, take a few deep breaths. Like you mean it deep breaths. A calm mind will hopefully set your ass at ease. Size matters, but here are some other things to consider when choosing toys to stretch your anus. Material For some women, like me, anal sex can be a mind-blowing addition to the bedroom. Until recently, I’d never had an orgasm from anal sex alone. Anal sex has always been a welcome precursor to vaginal penetration and other below-the-belt play. The most intense orgasms I’ve had — ever— have involved some combo of simultaneous vaginal penetration, clit stimulation, and ass play. To say you have a lot of options would be an understatement. There are dildos and other anal toys out there with bells and whistles your bum can’t even imagine. A washable throw is your friend. I hate doing laundry, so if I’m going to have potentially messy sex, I pull out my washable, waterproof throw. It works perfectly on top of sheets, sofas, or any other sex-friendly surface, and can easily be thrown in the washer.

Enemas usually don’t hurt. But if you’re administering an enema for the first time, you may experience some minor discomfort. This is typically a… READ MORE Anal dilators, also called rectal dilators, are medical devices used to widen the rectum after anorectal surgery to help make passing stool easier. Bleeding after anal sex typically isn't cause for concern. Though it may be alarming, light spotting immediately after is possible. But if you're… READ MORE A natural lube, like this one from Passion Lubes, is a good choice for your delicate derriere. Say no to numbing agentsWhile we’re on the subject of cleaning up, here are some tips for after your stretch sesh. Sterilize your toy A 1.5 oz Tube OF Anal Ease cream and similar products mostly contain Propylene, Glycol, Benzocaine, Carbomer 940, and Triethanolamine. Lightly rub a small dab of Anal Ease in and around the anal area about 5-10 minutes in advance. Wash your hands before and after using this medicine. Follow the directions on the label or those given to you by your doctor or health care professional. Do not use this medicine more often than directed.

Internal hemorrhoids, which develop inside the rectum, can make pooping painful and cause bleeding. Sometimes, an internal hemorrhoid can push through your anal opening, causing even more pain and irritation. Perforation Let go of any expectations. Instead of immediately focusing on full penetration, try to be as present as possible, and enjoy the buildup and arousal. Sometimes, it takes a few tries to make it happen. And sometimes, anatomy doesn’t fit, or it’s painful for the receiving partner. Try pushing your body against his so that his penis goes in about an inch. Pause there, and keep focused on breathing and staying relaxed. If that feels OK, try another inch. Work your way down the length of his penis as far as you feel comfortable. If you’re feeling good, you can try moving up and down on his penis, or letting him take control of the movement. Keep communicating to let him know how you’re feeling. Anal Ease Creams (Anal Ese, Anal Eze, or Anal Eaze) are lidocaine or benzocaine-based desensitizing anal lubes used mainly to reduce the initial discomfort associated with anal intercourse while its lubricating properties allow for ease of penetration. It works by slightly numbing the anal region.Healthline has strict sourcing guidelines and relies on peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical associations. We avoid using tertiary references. You can learn more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy.