Representation of queer women who are sexually assaulted by other queer women is important because it’s a topic that’s scarcely spoken of. However, ‘How to Excavate a Heart ‘ does not deal with this issue in a mature, nuanced or sensitive manner at all. If anything, it felt little more like a means to an end, a plot point to be whipped out at the very end to excuse the main character’s bad personality and then brushed over. oh my goodness, such cozy warmth! this book has a perfect heartbreaky romancey holiday flavor, lots of funny cuteness, and plenty of deep coming-of-age stuff. I'm always less invested in stories where we skip from people antagonistic towards each other to suddenly hanging out and flirting and there's no journey about how we got here. It significantly reduces my investment and enjoyment in a relationship and that's what happened here. We go from Shani's mom nearly mowing down May to May shutting the door on Shani's face to suddenly hanging out at art galleries and 100% falling for each other and I feel like I missed something. Full disclosure, close to the end there was a triggering part so I skimmed past that. I had recently read RUMOR GAMES and had to DNF close to the end for a similar reason and just didn't want to do it again. So do be aware of trigger warnings before going into this (the author also provides trigger warnings.) Let me reiterate: Shani, who we’ve been told reveres the field of palaeontology and for whom this internship is a dream-come-true throws priceless artefacts in the trash… Personally, if I were her manager, I would’ve been convicted of murder after that. As someone who had a huge (huge!) palaeontology and dinosaur obsession throughout my life and who did minor studies in the field during my time at university, I could not imagine liking someone so much that I throw fossils —literal million year-old artefacts that have ground-breaking scientific potential— in the bin, even if it were an accident.

Attempted vehicular manslaughter was not part of Shani’s plan. She was supposed to be focusing on her monthlong paleoichthyology internship. She was going to spend all her time thinking about dead fish and not at all about how she was unceremoniously dumped days before winter break. Kelly Quindlen meets Casey McQuiston in this sapphic Jewish twist on the classic Christmas enemies-to-lovers rom-com, as college freshman Shani’s internship is interrupted by a whirlwind winter fling. My other issue is that this was promoted as an enemies to lovers, romcom. I’m a big fan of the enemies to lovers trope. I love when there is dislike to even hate energy between two characters that can produce its own type of chemistry that when done well makes a great love chemistry. Unfortunately, here this was not a case of enemies, it was not even really a case of dislike. I don’t want to ruin how the characters meet, as it is interesting and I liked it, but it’s not a case of bad blood, just oddity and fate playing around. There are no enemies to lovers in this romcom and I hate to say this, but this isn’t really a romcom either. Just because a romance is cute and mostly feel good, does not a romcom make. I feel like people slap this label on everything nowadays, but the “com” part actually means “comedy” and I’m sorry, but I did not laugh once during this book so where is the comedy part? It was cute and sweet, but that means it is a “holiday romance” not an “enemies to lovers romcom”. hmm, okay. this is probably pretty solidly in the 3.5 stars camp, for me. overall, i would rec it, but it wasn't quite what i thought it was going to be? i think the 'enemies to lovers' isn't rlly accurate despite the way the main characters meet, it didn't rlly feel like it fits that trope. equally, i don't think this is a romcom. it's not rlly funny, it's def more of a character study/coming of age. a romance≠romcom, and i feel like a lot of marketing (esp with the more mainstream publishers) seem to just slap romcom onto anything with romance. i was also under the impression (based on the characters being freshmen in college) that this was more NA and less YA, so i had to adjust my expecations abt what the book was, a little. i think if those things were a little more upfront in the marketing, then i would have enjoyed it a little more, just bc there were adjustments being made while reading.Shani is a relatable main character, and I loved her voice. She has just finished her first semester of university, and the author does can excellent job capturing all the feelings of starting this new phase of one’s life. What I especially enjoyed about Shani is the way she makes mistakes as she navigates all the changes in her life. This makes her realistic, and through some of her messier moments, she is able to grow. ❀ Complex Relationships It also contained instances of (past) sexual assault and a controlling/abusive relationship, and that was one of the things that were well done. This is a book that heavily features bodies, poop, and anxiety relating to those things. If you are sensitive to those topics, please take note and care. Add that to the fact that I did not care for May's character at all. She seems rude and insulting to Shani and apparently to everyone else. Her relationship with her dad is sort of magically fast-forward resolved and the conflicts seem a bit artificial because literally all that is needed is communication of any kind. The primary character arc as I saw it was about Shani learning to be her own person, independent of a best friend or girlfriend, but this is glossed over in the resolution as well so I'm not sure what the takeaway was. How to Excavate a Heart’ has certainly proved that hypothesis wrong. Good news: publishers are now also releasing poorly written sapphic romances; goodbye homophobia! Equality is now!

There's a way to write trauma-related outbursts, sexual assault storyline’s and relationship issues, but this isn't it. I don't believe the storyline or its ramifications were well executed at all. Sexual assault is hard to write about and have conversations about in general, but even more so when the book is attempting to be a feel-good, lighthearted teenage romance and keeping everything surface level. It really does a disservice to such an important topic. If you’re going to include healing from sexual abuse trauma in a romance novel, introducing this facet of the characters experiences must happen prior to the 80% mark and can���t be used as a pseudo plot-twist.(Note: While the book references Shani’s discomfort over being sexually intimate a few times, it only reveals the reason behind this quite late into the book.) Another thing that was well done was showcasing two very messy, very stereotypical (and self-aware of it) lesbian teens in all their messy, immature glory.I love it for being a sapphic Jewish holiday romance, but the actual execution was middling to low.

In the end, if you want a cute and sweet YA sapphic holiday romance, that stays mostly on the surface, and doesn’t dig too deep, this might be the book for you. While I found that I could not get into the romance, as it didn’t feel deep enough for me, it is explained later in the book why it was done that way, so I found other scenes I enjoyed more. I think the museum scenes were my favorite parts, and clearly done with the author’s love, and they reminded me how much I miss them since I haven’t seen any since the pandemic hit. I also fell in love with one of the cutest dogs ever. This wasn’t the book I was looking for, but it still had some nice moments and I expect that readers looking for a sweet YA holiday romance will enjoy this more than I did. There are several side characters from Beatrice, the 96-year-old, that Shani is staying with to Taylor, Shani’s best friend. They helped with bringing other parts of Shani’s personality out that wasn’t always shown with her inner dialogue’s. Raphael, the corgi Shani dog walks, was a very pleasant bonus. As a dog lover, I thought his scenes added to the light-heartedness to the story. How to Excavate a Heart” by Jake Maia Arlow is a super sweet enemies-to-lovers rom-com set around the winter holidays. how to excavate a heart was such a lovely book with amazing winter vibes!! the characters were so awesome and relatable which i loved!! i especially loved beatrice - she so sweet and precious and i was upset at the end when she had to go to the hospital, but i'm so glad she was alright! the representation was also great :)

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Actually, pathetic doesn’t even begin to describe Shani. The reason she is not with her mother for the holiday season (which a major point of conflict throughout the book) is because she is so desperate to follow through on her internship. The book tells us again and again that Shani is ultra, super passionate about palaeontology. That being said, the moment her romance with May begins to develop, Shani stops caring about her internship. It gets so bad and she becomes so distracted by this fledgling romance that throws priceless, scientifically ground-breaking fossils in the bin.

While this is definitely a rom-com, it also doesn’t shy away from covering heavy topics, especially in regards to Shani’s ex-girlfriend. The discussion around Shani’s discomfort with sex following Sadie sexually assaulting her was handled very well, and I loved that 1) both Jake Maia Arlow and Shani herself drew a clear line between someone not being comfortable with sex due to trauma and asexuality, as Shani is the former and not the latter and 2) that the book did not end with Shani miraculously overcoming her trauma and having sex with May and instead with the two of them agreeing to take it slow. I can foresee some people possibly having problems with the way that the third-act breakup plays out and how it ties into Shani’s past assault, but I think it felt like a realistic response to trauma as opposed to using sexual assault as a plot device. I also love that this is a YA book that centers on college freshman but is still very much appropriate for a teen audience—the college experience is not really central to the book since it takes place during Shani’s internship during winter break, but the element of being alone (especially during a time of year where family is seen as the central focus) is very much there. Also I forgot to mention this in my original review since I wrote it uh. very late at night but this was also SO funny at times. Genuinely some of the most realistic texting (especially the Beep Beep Scene; you'll know it when you get there) that managed to be funny and also feel like actual texting conversations I'd have with my friends. I am a hater of Hallmark movies. This is somewhat surprising since I do all around like the holiday season, unironically celebrate Festivus, and never fail to fall into a rut when it’s over for the year. As it turns out, the solution to my dislike for Hallmark movies is for them to star lesbians. There’s no shortage of sapphic rom-coms coming out this year that center on Hanukkah, Christmas, and/or the general month of December, and if this is the quality that all of them will be, then I welcome the seemingly sudden prominence of the sub-genre. To be completely honest, this book is not good. I’ve become accustomed to a lot of heterosexual adult romances being pretty poorly written — after reading ‘The Spanish Love Deception’, the ‘Bromance Bookclub’ and snippets of Colleen Hoover’s novels (among others), I’m generally more surprised when a straight romance novel is actually well written. Well written romances, I previously believed, were reserved for the sapphics.Stonewall Honor author Jake Maia Arlow delivers a sapphic Jewish twist on the classic Christmas rom-com in a read perfect for fans of Kelly Quindlen and Casey McQuiston. Frankly I could just write “there is a corgi who wears booties” as the review and that would justify the rating, but I figure since this is an arc review I ought to give a bit more. I do admittedly feel like I have broken some sort of law by reading a book pitched as “if a Hallmark movie starred sexually frustrated lesbian Jews” and that was originally titled “Winter Break” on a very hot and humid August day, but honestly I’m glad I did because now I can confidently say that you all need to add this to your winter TBRs.