I’m more feminine-presenting so people assume that they can ask me more about my life and ask me “when are you going to have kids?

That means she’s probably going to want to lead the action, whether that’s initiating the first kiss or being the one to perform oral sex rather than receive it. Being a submissive certainly requires a great deal of work, including psychological preparation, building trust, understanding your boundaries, familiarizing yourself and testing your interest in various sexual options, reading your body and a developing effective methods of communication.I get that these stereotypical boxes are just that, stereotypes, but at a very minimum watch the language; this is full of transphobic, anti-women and biphobic slurs. It does not mean that you cannot make up your mind, it does not mean you are sex-crazed, and it does not mean that you will by default participate in orgies every night. Rush reported that women held strong opinions, that "role distinctions needed to be sharply drawn," and that not being one or the other earned strong disapproval from both groups. WHAT TOPS LIKE TO DO IN BED – Vaginal Penetration: Receiving (32%), Giving (95%) // Oral Sex (Genital): Receiving (56%), Giving (90%) // Strap-On Penetration (Vaginal): Receiving (20%), Giving (72%) // Vaginal Fisting: Receiving (8. Understanding how it’s used in both of those settings can make figuring out what “top” means for lesbians a little easier.

Scholars such as Judith Butler and Anne Fausto-Sterling suggest that butch and femme are not attempts to take up "traditional" gender roles. Sexual compatibility is based on lots of different factors, so two women both being switches doesn’t always mean they will be compatible. If you didn't already know, there is a spectrum of lesbian-specific identities around gender presentation and expression: more "femme" or feminine identities, more "butch" and "masc" or masculine identities and a range of experiences in-between and beyond. One soft butch gay woman defined “top” as “someone that strictly ‘gives’ and does not look to be touched in any way,” but most descriptions focused not on giving exclusively but rather on preferring or prioritizing giving. A lot of survey-takers talked about enjoying a butch/femme = top/bottom dynamic in their sexual lives, but others expressed frustration about assumptions.It has been noted that, at least in part, kiki women were unwelcome where lesbians gathered because their apparent lack of understanding of the butch–femme dress code might indicate that they were policewomen. She’s really helped me feel more confident in myself and more confident to explore things to do with gender. Only kink-identified survey-takers were subjected to an additional survey page with questions about dominants/submissives and sub-identities therein, and now we’re gonna talk about those results. This was especially true in relation to the butch identity, as the organization held the belief that assimilation into heterosexual society was the goal of the homophile movement.