Don't Hold My Head Down

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Thisisdifferenttotryingnewthingssexuallyandnotaskingforpermissiontogoeachstepfurther.Inthiscase,bothpeopleareopenandwillingandnotsayingnotoanything.Ithinkyoushouldn'taskforpermissionforeverythingbutifsomeonesaysnoorclearlyindicatesnoasmuchastheycan,youstop. Kirjassa Holmes käy omaelämäkertamaisesti läpi omaa seksuaalista matkaansa ja seikkailujaan hauskalla ja viihteellisellä tyylillä, ja yhdistää sitten kokemuksensa tiukkaan yhteiskunta-analyysiin ja paukuttaa naisten seksuaaliseen asemaan liittyvät ongelmakohdat ja faktat tiskiin. The Don’t Hold My Head Down initiative encourages people to spread awareness about mental health in the music industry. By sharing information, resources, and stories on social media, people can help to spread the message of the initiative and help to create a more understanding and accepting culture within the music industry. Sitten se mutta: miksi siitä seksuaalisuudesta täytyy jotenkin aina kertoa niin hassunhauskan huumorin keinoin? Holmesin tapa kirjoittaa, eli siis lähinnä vitsailla, ei iskenyt itseeni sitten yhtään. (Myöskään muut vähän samaa aihepiiriä sivuavat viime aikoina ilmestyneet kirjat kuten Runkkarin käsikirja tai Himokirja eivät vaan mitenkään tyyliltään viehätä, olen yrittänyt lukea niitä, mutta en päässyt ekaa kymmentä sivua pidemmälle.) En tarkoita, että tahtoisin lukea pelkkää kuivakkaa asiatekstiä seksistä, ehei en ollenkaan, mutta jotenkin sellainen humoristinen kepeä vähän ”itsekriittinen” ja -tarkkaileva sävy on vaan niin väsynyttä. Tai ehkä Holmesin tapauksessa emme vain ole samalla viivalla ajatuksissamme, TAI suomennos hukkasi jotain. There is such a lot here to consider, and to take - as a counsellor who has worked with survivors of sexual abuse, consent has always been something that I am familiar with but here, in a section on BDSM, there is an explanation of the consent wheel, which is just fabulous. It takes the idea of explicit consent much further, also demonstrating that within sexual encounters, each partner can slide between the various stages of the wheel throughout their encounter.

Take a Look at Our Summary of November Highlights, Whether You're Looking for the Latest Releases or Gift InspirationIt is a sex book, as the author says. She talks candidly about her sex life and there's quite a bit of detailed description, but importantly much of it is description of how sex makes the author feel, not just the acts themselves. Comparisons with Caitlin Moran come to mind, but where the latter always aims for the punchline, Holmes is much more genuine in both her biography and her humour. Quaker theology and same-sex marriage (PDF) https://www.quaker.org.uk/documents/we-are-but-witnesses-2009 I feel sad at how much time I spent worrying about whether I was desirable instead of thinking about what I desired.”

Sex sells. But if you expect Don’t Hold My Head Down to be a titillating read full of soft-core anecdotes, then you’ll be (somewhat) disappointed. Yes, Lucy-Anne Holmes’s memoir is about sex (and there are certainly some NSFW parts) but it’s not necessarily about the act, rather an exploration of sex in all its forms – body image, porn, self-esteem, communication, societal attitudes and Holmes’s own experiences. Sexcrossesboundaries,withyourlogic,youdoinganythingwithouthispermissionisconsideredsexualassault.Andalso,thatmeanseverysingle'act'wouldrequireyouguystospeakbeforehandbeforehavingsex.Didyou?Youhonestlyneedtogrowup. I had a moment early on when I met with an editor to discuss it and she looked at me baffled and said ‘why would you want to write about this?’ as though I was mad to want to share all this stuff about sex. And another editor who I felt was trying to steer the thrust of the book away from what I had in mind. But, I had been campaigning for two and a half years at the time, going around the country talking about porn, sex, body image and some of my own experiences that are in the book, and the response was generally a group of people afterwards wanting to talk about it more, or saying how inspiring it was to hear someone talk so frankly about sex and porn.Erityisesti tää ihmetytti, koska usein oltiin ihmiselämän isojen asioiden äärellä, kuten esimerkiksi seksistä kommunikoimisen ja sen, millainen naiskuva pornossa, mediassa ja yhteiskunnassa ylipäätänsä on ja miten se vaikuttaa ihan meidän perustavisten arkeen (tiedostetusti ja tiedostamattakin).