The Best Ever Book of Swedish Jokes: Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who

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Leading the case for Swedish humour is Carl Michael Bellman, 18th-century Sweden’s beer-swigging son of song and prose. Here's a collection of Bellman jokes, and here's an example of a Bellman joke (courtesy of Wikipedia).

What did the Scandinavian girl say when asked if she wanted to move? "There is Norway I want to leave my little Sweden to Finland somewhere else." But one day, a white baby was born to one of the women in the tribe. The chief immediately sent for the missionary and demanded to know why he had broken the commandments he had so lovingly taught to his people.False. Sweden isn’t Narnia, even though it looks like it during the winter months. Winter is much longer than summer and some years it even snows in May! Most of the time though, Sweden enjoys lukewarm summers with the temperature around 23°C (73°F).

Nudists? No. Some people are. But we don’t think nudity is as big a deal as Americans do. It’s a little complicated to jot down all the details – find out more about Swedes and nudity here. This can have advantages: people tend to make more effort to make what they say stand out, to craft their speeches in advance, and, yes, make more jokes (for those at the top of the hierarchy, obviously, this does not apply, or at least the jokes don't have to be any good). Du har inte bägge årorna i vattnet = “You don’t have both oars in the water” (suggests someone might be conducting a task incorrectly) It started raining and then the Swede pulled out a condom and covered his cigarette so he could continue smoking. I don’t know anyone (Swedish or otherwise) who doesn’t have at least something from IKEA in their home. But no, Swedes don’t buy all their furniture from IKEA. Unless they’re students. Students definitely have all-IKEA furnishings.

Road Trips

The ceo of IKEA has just been appointed as the Prime Minister of Sweden. He's currently assembling his cabinet. The Nordic Diet” has recently featured in many medical journals and in the mainstream media. But how healthy are Swedes really? Well, Sweden is the 59th most obese nation on earth with just over 20% of the population diagnosed with obesity. As for height, the average male Swede is 181cm (5ft9”) tall and women come in at 167cm (5ft4”). Okay, but I really want to go swimming so we’ll do that after we’ve had a swim. 18. Nu blir det andra bullar One recent post on Fullständigt ointressant information, where users compete to share the dullest possible anecdotes or insights, sums up a certain brand of Swedish humour. Two minutes later, she is getting dressed again. The man asks her “will you take me to jail, officer?”