Now, this decline in the U.S. national life expectancy, you can look upon it again as sort of mysterious, individual pathology, or we can actually look at the social conditions that drive it. And much of that is due to the hollowing out of the American industrial heartland due to globalization, and the loss of meaning and purpose and meaningful employment in people’s lives. This is what have been called in the United States deaths of despair. So many of these deaths are due to suicide and to drug overdoses and to alcoholism. And suicide and drug overdoses and alcoholism are direct outcomes of a society that deprives people of meaning and belonging, a sense of connection, a sense of value, a sense of purpose. So, again, we can look upon these manifestations as individual pathology, which yields no explanation whatsoever, or we can see them as the outcomes of a toxic culture. You experienced the same thing in the former Soviet Union with the collapse of the former Soviet Union — loss of jobs, loss of employment, loss of meaning and purpose. The life expectancy of men plummeted drastically within a few years. Now we’re seeing the same phenomenon in the United States. While listening to 18 hours of the cultural causes of illnesses and disease —and how society is failing us…..

DR. GABOR MATÉ: Well, the key here is trauma. Trauma is a psychological wound that people sustain. And I’m saying that in this society, most of us, because of the nature of the culture, the way we raise children, the way we have to relate to each other, the very values of a society are traumatizing for a lot of people, so that it’s false to say that some people are normal and others are abnormal. In fact, we’re all on a spectrum of woundedness, which has great impact on how we relate to each other and on our health.

So what’s going on here? For Dr. Maté, it exemplifies what happens when two fundamental human needs – attachment and authenticity – are put in conflict. Attachment is your core need for emotional proximity and love. But you also need to be the author of your life, guided by a deep knowledge of your authentic self. The Myth of Normal” is a transformative and compassionate exploration of the concept of normality and its impact on individuals and society. Daniel Maté and Gabor Maté challenge societal norms, promoting a culture of acceptance and inclusivity. Through their expert insights and personal stories, they shed light on the harmful consequences of striving for an elusive idea of normalcy. This book invites readers to embrace their uniqueness and redefine their understanding of what it means to be “normal” in a diverse and complex world. About the Authors: Maté suggests some writing exercises, first to identify the early signs that you are at odds with your body before disease sets in and then to deal with feelings of unworthiness. These feelings, he points out, are often derived from early childhood, a period in which a great deal of information is absorbed without being critically evaluated, in a process similar to hypnosis. However debilitating feelings like guilt and self-loathing may be, they have much to teach people. They arose because they were useful at the time as a defense against something even more frightening, and they should be regarded as friends or teachers who have served their purpose rather than as enemies.

In Mee Ok’s case, the trauma of separation and sexual abuse was so painful and alarming that she had to disconnect entirely from her memories and her emotional self. At some point, she learned that working hard and being useful was a safe way to gain acceptance.

b) Maté’s challenge of “toxic culture” (capitalism/colonialism/bigotry/old science’s reductionism) with decolonization to rebuild communal relations/social values, incorporating new science’s holistic systems understanding (specifically: trauma-informed biopsychosocial medicine). Addiction, which has historically been misunderstood as the result of the addict’s bad choices or as a disease, is really a way of coping with suffering. Doctors who treat addicts should ask what benefit the drug, alcohol, or other substance or behavior confers on the addict and what type of suffering is being palliated. Instead, both doctor and patient are often all too willing to treat addiction and other mental problems from a purely biological standpoint, since this means that they do not have to do the hard work of examining the trauma in the patient’s life. People are so unwilling to face these traumas that their mind often concocts alternative narratives to explain the emotional scars they bear. These stories people tell themselves serve a purpose at the time but are often damaging in the long run.