The Gifts Of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

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I like to listen to/read at least one Brene Brown book a year to remind me that I'm human. And you're human. And we're all imperfectly perfect that way. Also I think it is admirable not to eviscerate your family, but I guess it is weird to read a book so balanced about feeling insane and then is is all just flat positive about her husband and her children, who have to be annoying sometimes or she's leaving out "they are robots." Spirituality is recognizing and celebrating that we are all inextricably connected to each other by a power greater than all of us, and that our connection to that power and to one another is grounded in love and compassion. Practicing spirituality brings a sense of perspective, meaning and purpose to our lives.” Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It's about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen." Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead (2012)

Overall... This book wasn't awful...( of course not), yet... I didn't feel moved or inspired or transformed. 'Maybe'.... A little more validated on the ways I already live my life...(so this is not a bad thing). I'm getting tired of all the ra-ra blah-blah books about Courage and Compassion and Mindfulness and living from the heart etc. etc. Life is often a bit more complicated than that. Maybe I really am turning into a grumpy old woman. Hope is not an emotion; it’s a way of thinking or a cognitive process. Emotions play a supporting role, but hope is really a thought process made up of what Snyder calls a trilogy of goals, pathways, and agency. In very simple terms, hope happens when we have the ability to set realistic goals. (I know where I want to go.) We are able to figure out how to achieve those goals, including the ability to stay flexible and develop alternative routes." I was also curious how Brown defines authencity. Brown, a struggling perfectionist, defines authenticity as "the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are." Embracing who we are means accepting that we are not perfect, loving ourselves for who we are, and seeking meaningful connection. She talks about wholehearted living and says that people when overwhelmed, should DIG (Deliberate in their thoughts and behaviors through prayer, meditation, and stating their intentions; be Inspired to make new and different choices, and get Going. They should take action). She also talks about the idea of judging whether or not another person is authentic and comes to the conclusion that this is not a trait that people have or don't have - it is a practice of how we want to live. She doesn't bridge the gap between others judgments of our authenticity and being truly authentic and discuss how there can be a “disconnect”.I loved the humor interlacing with facts that makes the information easy to follow, relate, and agreeable. Though, be ready for some scratchy but friendly honesties that might poke your pride. A Chinese idiom goes, “A good medicine tastes bitter,” which I think best describes this book. Exactly what the hell am I supposed to do with that? Repeat this as a mantra multiple times a day until I've collapsed under the weight of its insipidness, and give in to Brown's Christian God (or her Abstinence and Twelve Steps)? Oh yeah, did you know that the researcher who's professing a release from the addiction of vulnerability is a twelve steps addict? AA doesn't get its power from releasing you from addiction - it just substitutes one addiction for another, and makes sure you don't have agency until you give up your agency and let some variation of 'God' own you.

I shall now summarize the book's precepts: Feel Good About Yourself. Be Compassionate and Grateful. Blah blah Laugh Dance Love blah blah. I read this book after watching Brown's TED talk on vulnerability. The TED talk was shown as the last exercise for a leadership class at work. The talk was intriguing and I wanted to know more. Also, I noted that many of the comments regarding this fairly brief talk were often negative. I found the talk inspiring so I wanted to see if there was any validity to the negative comments.Brene Brown tries to distill her research and reporting what she found are the differences between "wholehearted" people and the rest of us running-scared-dogs. Let me guru you. That’s the simplest way to understand Gifts of Imperfection. This is the kind of book that does two simultaneous, paradoxical things: One of the greatest barriers to connection is the cultural importance we place on "going it alone." Somehow we've come to equate success with not needing anyone. Many of us are willing to extend a helping hand, but we're very reluctant to reach out for help when we need it ourselves. It's as if we've divided the world into "those who offer help" and "those who need help." The truth is that we are both.”