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Arsene Wenger was to meet his new girlfriend outside the Cinema at 7pm, at 9pm she had still not arrived, so he went home furious. On our Facebook poll fan, Dave Henshaw said: “ I’ll always love Kev Seed, made me laugh every morning for years… thank you for doing that mate, you made going to work much more enjoyable.” Lily Savage & Paul O Grady A man from Liverpool, England was touring the USA on holiday and stopped in a remote bar in the hills of Nevada. He was chatting to the bartender when he spied an old Native American man sitting in the corner. He had tribal gear on, long white plaits, wrinkled face. The judge says to him, “Do you want to stay with your Father?” The boy replies, “No, he beats me.” So the judge asks, “Do you want to stay with your mother?” Again the boy says, “No, she beats me as well.” So the judge asks, “So who do you want to stay with then?”
Mary, why didn’t you raise your hand?” the teacher asks, surprised. “Because I’m not a Liverpool fan,” she replies. “Well, if you are not a Liverpool fan, then who are you a fan of?” Mary replied, “I am an Everton fan, and I am proud of it.” The teacher couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Mary, why, pray tell, are you an Everton fan?” “Because my mum is an Everton fan, and my dad is an Everton fan, so I’m an Everton fan too!” “Well, that is no reason for you to be an Everton fan,” said the teacher, clearly annoyed. “You don’t have to be just like your parents all of the time… What if your mother was a prostitute and your father was a drug addict?” “Then,” Mary smiled, “I’d be a Liverpool fan. Arsenal has been in the Champions League for 18 years straight and hasn’t won it, what are they gonna miss? Away fans are advised when driving down Alex Ferguson Road, not to forget to add 9 minutes to their journey. Whether it's daft conversations overheard on the bus, bizarre sights spotted in town or hilarious comments at the match, everyone has their own story of the moments that show off Scousers' sense of humour.Made famous by Brookside, this was Jimmy Corkhill’s put-down of choice. The word has two possible origins - one theory is that it’s an abbreviation of the 1950s Unemployment Dividend and was used to describe someone who didn’t have a job. That’s the Memory Man.” said the bartender. “He knows everything, remembers everything. He can remember every face he’s ever seen. He can remember any fact he hears or reads. Go and try him out.” So the Liverpudlian goes over, and thinking he won’t know about English football, asks “Who won the 1965 FA Cup Final?”. Colin told the ECHO Paul played football on Saturday morning and did not feel well. Paul, a huge Liverpool FC fan, then went to Anfield to watch the Liverpool v Everton derby. However, he still did not feel well when he returned home and went to the walk-in centre. Posting under an update issued by Lifestyles Fitness Centres, Kellie Owens said: "I'd like to say thanks to Paul for absolutely everything you have done for me. I couldn't even lift a weight properly or knew really what I was doing. You have helped me so much and pushed me further every week. All of the sudden Tom Thumb says, "You know, how do I know I'm the world's smallest man? Maybe I'm NOT the world's smallest man". And he got very depressed.
Some 'your da' jokes have taken on an elevated status and are now the 'your da' jokes against which all other 'your da' jokes are judged. A policeman stops a suspected drunk driver and asks him to take a breath test, the driver pulls out a medical card that says, “This man is asthmatic please do not take his breath.’ So the policeman asks him to take a blood test, the man then pulls out another card which read ‘This man is anemic, please do not take his blood.” Can see the Everton fans in the crowd turning around and swearing. Probably at their brother in the home section.A primary teacher informs her students that she is a Liverpool fan. She invites her students to raise their hands if they, too, support Liverpool. Except for one little girl, everyone in the class raises their hands. However, you may not always understand exactly what the insult means. It seems those who live further out from the city just can’t understand some aspects of our favourite slang words when they're thrown into the mix. A horse bolted and ran into Liverpool FC's training ground. The horse charged wildly at the team as they were in the middle of training. None of the players were hurt, but it clipped Klopp.
Liverpool have won the league, the government is paying people not to work.... Somewhere there's a scouser with a genie in a lamp wondering what to do with his last wish When the train came out of the tunnel, Megan Fox and the Spurs fan were sitting as if nothing had happened while the Gunners fan had his hand against his face as if he had been hit hard.Your da watches James Bond in the bath and calls himself bubble 07' - Craig Brittles Read More Related Articles Hats off to Jürgen Klopp. He’s become a proper scouser, someone the fans can really relate to and hail as one of their own. Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.
Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. Shall I call your wife for you?" New routine Recently my mate started doing his morning workout on the 5:30 service from Norwich to London Liverpool Street. He said: "I don't have an explanation. I have to find out, it's only going on what I've seen. The first half was quite in control. Maybe we had the better chances, we made one mistake. The Spurs fan put his cap over one breast, the Watford fan put his cap over the other, and the Gooner put his cap "down below". Everyone’s favourite brekkie radio queen, Leanne Campbell made the most funny scouser list. Teaming up with Scott Hughes to bring you the days news and not end up in stitches at least 5 times a show is standard for the multi-talented Leanne. Not content with giving us a giggle in the mornings, her podcast, Ladies of Liverpool has made us howl laughing, cry tears of empathy and marvel at the amazing women of this city. Stan Boardman
And the Spurs fan was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and hit that Arsenal bastard again, harder.'
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